Husbands, do you want to know the 10 ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated? In this funny and light hearted episode Nick and Amy discuss the 10 ways to make your wife feel loved and Amy lets Nick know if he is even close or we have to re do this episode and list 10 other things.
Find out what Amy thinks and if these 10 things can help make your wife feel loved and special.
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun!
WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE
Enter promo code UIAPP for 10% off your purchase (and free shipping in the US)
The Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course can be found HERE
Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.
If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review!
Husbands, do you want to know the 10 ways to make your wife feel loved and appreciated? In this funny and light hearted episode Nick and Amy discuss the 10 ways to make your wife feel loved and Amy lets Nick know if he is even close or we have to re do this episode and list 10 other things.
Find out what Amy thinks and if these 10 things can help make your wife feel loved and special.
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun!
WANT AMAZING PRODUCTS TO SPICE THINGS UP? YES PLEASE... CLICK HERE
Enter promo code UIAPP for 10% off your purchase (and free shipping in the US)
The Ultimate Intimacy Sexual Intimacy Marriage Course can be found HERE
Follow us on Instagram @ultimateintimacyapp for app updates, polls, giveaways, daily marriage quotes and more.
If you have any feedback, comments or topics you would like to hear on future episodes, reach out to us at amy@ultimateintimacy.com and let us know! We greatly appreciate your feedback and please leave us a review!
Amy: 0:00
You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life. Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun. The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better. I'm sure you made an awesome list.
Nick: 1:13
I did. I did a lot of research and I came up with the 10 ways to make your wife feel special and loved. According to my research, According to Nick.
Amy: 1:25
Okay, let's hear him.
Nick: 1:28
These are well. Yeah, I guess we'll get a sense as to what we do in our relationship, what's important to you, what's not important all that stuff, maybe things we've gotten better at with time, right. Yeah, I think so.
Amy: 1:43
Maybe things that we haven't been so good at.
Nick: 1:45
For sure, which, just like all of you, yeah, we have to figure some things out, Always figuring things out and trying to constantly find ways to make our relationship better, and I mean, I'm such a stud though I feel like it's not that hard to do, but I'm just teasing people. People know. People know I'm joking.
Amy: 2:08
They do.
Nick: 2:09
That I'm probably driving nuts Nick's high maintenance.
Amy: 2:14
Okay, well, let's get into this.
Nick: 2:16
I'm high maintenance, even your dad and me. What ways am I high maintenance? I feel like I'm a pretty chill, as our son would say You're chill.
Amy: 2:24
You're chill, you're chill. I think we'll save that for another episode.
Nick: 2:28
Another episode. Okay, all right, Nick's like you need to initiate more.
Amy: 2:32
I'm like. I do Like a couple times a month. That's not enough. We need to make love tonight. We need to. You need to hold my hand more. You need to kiss me more. Why don't you slam me against the wall? Why don't you?
Nick: 2:45
I don't remember saying all that.
Amy: 2:46
I'm physical touch, don't you know I'm physical touch, let's start touching.
Nick: 2:53
That's funny. Well, okay, future episodes. Future episodes Right there. Okay, write that down.
Amy: 2:59
All right, this is about the women today, so about the ladies All right Number one.
Nick: 3:03
10 ways to make your wife feel special and loved Help her in household chores.
Amy: 3:10
Help her in household chores.
Nick: 3:12
In our relationship. In our relationship it might be a little bit different.
Amy: 3:16
I'm like I laugh at that because I'm like the household chores are not the wife's job. That's not the wife's job unless she's a stay-at-home mom and you've delegated that Okay.
Nick: 3:25
So Amy and I both work from home, so in our relationship we just we just both kick butt together.
Amy: 3:30
I still do way more.
Nick: 3:32
Okay, I. We both tried to kick butt together. She does more.
Amy: 3:37
Okay, but okay, let's step back on this, on this conversation, for a minute. The reason I say that is because how do I say this nicely?
Nick: 3:48
She's speechless, she doesn't know what to say.
Amy: 3:50
How do I say this nicely when Nick's like oh, the house looks amazing. I actually saw a meme on this other day on social media and the guy walks in and he's like the way that a man cleans a house and he like throws something in the trash, empties the dishwasher and he's like the house looks amazing and the wife's eyeballs go straight to the baseboards, straight to the door, straight to the door knobs, and you know what I mean.
Nick: 4:12
So he.
Amy: 4:13
The little tiny stuff.
Nick: 4:15
So we are like a more near-sighted person, like we see all the clothes on the ground or things like that, and the wife's have X-ray vision where they're seeing a piece of dust on the carpet across the room.
Amy: 4:28
It's so true.
Nick: 4:31
Or, you know, the outside of the house has a piece of dirt, so therefore the whole house needs to be pressure washed.
Amy: 4:38
Yeah, yeah, it's so true. It's so true, but I honestly do think that I'm better at deep cleaning. No question, but like naturally you're like, oh, I'm gonna go clean the toilets, I'm an awesome husband, and then I go back and re-clean them Like it's true.
Nick: 4:51
Oh. He feels so good about his cleaning skills and then I re-clean it like the right way, because nobody taught him how to clean those toilets you could eat. No, that's just disgusting. You can totally eat them. They're so clean when I'm done.
Amy: 5:02
Don't no, he Well, he's like the inside's clean, but like the outside, the floor, the out, yeah, no See.
Nick: 5:09
I got the important part.
Amy: 5:10
See, nobody taught him how to actually clean. I don't think you ever had to clean till you got married. So this is. You could see that this could cause some contention, right?
Nick: 5:20
Oh, there's no contention in this conversation.
Amy: 5:23
So this is the way that we avoid that. I don't mind cleaning, actually, and so I will deep clean the kitchen, or I will make my kids help out on Saturday. See, this is why kids are so helpful.
Nick: 5:37
sometimes that's the whole reason you have kids is to make them work.
Amy: 5:40
He's joking. That's why we had kids. They need to be involved in the house too, so it's not always just about husband and wife cleaning the house right or helping with household duties. Get your kids involved. It's everybody's job on Saturday at our house, it's not just my job, it's everybody's job.
Nick: 5:58
Saturday. Saturday is like everyone else's Monday times two what's? That mean it's like oh, saturday we got to do chores for six hours and clean this. I usually just we're getting off topic.
Amy: 6:11
So Nick, yeah, so this is another thing with Nick he. This is kind of personal. This is like a personal episode. We're like talking about us. Nick decides that he can just throw in his little air pods, walk outside and go do yard work for a few hours while everybody cleans the inside of the house.
Nick: 6:30
Dang straight.
Amy: 6:32
And I finally got to a point where I'm like I'm not even going to argue about this. I will just deal with the children another day, while they fight and whine about stuff.
Nick: 6:41
Oh, and you should see our yard. It looks like the Augusta golf course where they play the Masters.
Amy: 6:47
It's just perfect. They've heard the episode about is your grass greener?
Nick: 6:50
They already know that it's not like that Is our grass greener on the other side, our grass, yeah.
Amy: 6:55
Yeah, no, it's not the greener, it's not all.
Nick: 6:57
Hey, we've had a couple of weeks, all right, so moving on.
Amy: 6:59
No, no, no, no no.
Nick: 6:59
Help with household chores.
Amy: 7:01
Okay, I need to say one more thing.
Nick: 7:02
No, I mean moving on with household chores.
Amy: 7:04
We got off topic. Okay, if in your situation, the wife stays home and you have discussed this in your marriage, that her responsibility is to run the house and as a dad, you are leaving the house to go make the money, that can work very nicely. It actually does work very nicely in that way. Yes, does that mean he doesn't have to do anything ever again? No, but if that is your job is running the house and the kids, you have lots of hours during the day, that works. I've been there, thank you. Does husband still can come help pick out or help do dishes after dinner or whatever? Yes, absolutely right, right. But there's, a good balance in that.
Nick: 7:46
If you're a husband and you get home from work and you offer to help your wife or you just go do some chores around the house, you're going to be a freaking stud.
Amy: 7:56
Well, sometimes the kids do take all day long with stuff and you just don't get around to the house cleaning. And there's the cooking and the mothering that never ends right, it never stops. We never get a day off.
Nick: 8:06
So so For most women help her in the household chores. Is that a thumbs up? Well if she's working to.
Amy: 8:15
I'm going to keep going off on the subject. If she's working to, it's both of your jobs. So you divide that line down the middle, down the middle. So then.
Nick: 8:24
So then you can help even more with the household chores.
Amy: 8:27
Yeah, no, yeah, that's a team effort. Exactly that becomes a team equal effort.
Nick: 8:32
Exactly.
Amy: 8:32
Okay, next one.
Nick: 8:34
Are we done with that?
Amy: 8:35
What. I just know that that's a really sensitive topic for a lot of people. Like a really sensitive topic, it causes a lot of contention. So, yeah, you got to look at your situation and figure out not that marriage is always fair it's not. But try to make that topic as fair as you can.
Nick: 8:52
Yeah, you can tell in our tone of voices that we got this one down packed like no issues there.
Amy: 8:57
We actually don't. We're good there. Oh wait, hold on.
Nick: 8:59
Let's air our grievances on air. I thought we were good there.
Amy: 9:04
Well, I finally just like decided to let you go out on Saturday and do the yard work and not to cause any issues. So we're good there, okay.
Nick: 9:10
We're good there. Oh, I guess we're good. We're good there, we're good, there All right what's going on. Focus on her needs and wants, and I think it's so important to pay attention to your wife's needs and wants. You don't ask her how her day was. Listen to her concerns, make her feel heard. Make her feel valued and appreciated. Most women need to be heard and want to be heard.
Amy: 9:34
You're smiling, yeah for sure I agree with that one. I don't. Focusing on her needs and wants. I'm going to have to disagree with that one a little bit. Okay, it's good to focus on your wife's needs and wants, but it's not just all about her too. No, we're not saying that.
Nick: 9:52
We're just saying put some focus on her needs and wants. If you're a husband that has zero focus, for sure every marriage is different. For some husbands it's going to be like go from zero to 10 or 20%. For some husbands it might be go from 40% to 50 or 60%. Whatever you're doing in your marriage, just step it up a little bit.
Amy: 10:15
Yeah, I like that Is that good Both ways, yeah, for sure.
Nick: 10:20
Number three treat your wife with respect. I hope all husbands out there are listening and doing that. But you often see some husbands that don't treat their wife with a whole lot of respect. They just bossing around tell them what to do. That's not okay.
Amy: 10:44
It's not okay. Okay, I'm gonna pipe in on this one.
Nick: 10:46
Pipe in girl.
Amy: 10:47
Try treat your wife with respect.
Nick: 10:50
What does? Maybe we ask what does respect mean to you? Because sometimes I feel like I'm treating you with respect.
Amy: 10:58
but maybe no, you're very respectful. I don't have anything to say about Nick. He's amazing.
Nick: 11:03
But what would respect mean to you After?
Amy: 11:05
talking to many women. I can't believe some of the crap that some women put up with. Like I literally can't believe some of the messages I get. I'm like you seriously allow him to do that or treat you like that, like I'm in shock. If you treat your wife with respect, you are treating her like an equal. That's with finances, that's with household duties, that's with big decisions. In every area you guys are equals. Respect is earned by the way you talk to her, the way you have conversations with her, the way you don't raise your voice at her. I think respect can be just being thoughtful and just opening the doors for her and treating her like a princess, like that's in the past. That's how men were supposed to treat women right and I think there's it's changed a little bit and I think a lot of women I can do this myself or I can do this or I can. You know what I'm saying, but really, like shivery shouldn't be dead, like those things, show respect.
Nick: 12:20
R-E-S-P-E-C-T. Find out what it means to me.
Amy: 12:25
Ask your wife. Ask your wife this question Do I respect you, do you feel respected, and how can I be more respectful?
Nick: 12:35
That was beautiful, Beautiful babe. Oh, it was gold.
Amy: 12:40
Nick doesn't have to ask me that, because he's amazing for real.
Nick: 12:43
Okay, next one, I'll keep talking.
Amy: 12:46
Oh, we already went into the next one.
Nick: 12:48
Well, we kind of did. These are two different things. But treat your wife like a queen, that's I mean. Obviously being respectful is one thing, but treat her like a queen.
Amy: 12:57
These could be like yeah, read that first one that you wrote down, treat her like a queen, bring her breakfast in bed.
Nick: 13:04
I haven't done that very often, but that's something that I've heard could work for other couples.
Amy: 13:09
Oh, he did it at 3 am on our honeymoon.
Nick: 13:12
Oh yeah.
Amy: 13:13
I was like, I was like, oh, is it now morning time yet?
Nick: 13:18
Oh, I thought you wanted to eat.
Amy: 13:20
I thought you wanted to eat at 3 am and I don't think you've done it since.
Nick: 13:25
Well, that's because it was such a bad breakfast. Nixon had a good cook and I don't eat anyway, so I don't want that, but some wives might want that, so I've heard that here are some things you can do to treat your wife like a queen. I've heard that bringing her breakfast in bed. I'm gonna try that again.
Amy: 13:41
No, no, it's okay. It is pretty romantic though.
Nick: 13:45
Give her a massage. Give your wife a massage. I put massage.
Amy: 13:48
Without expectations once in a while. Yeah, you think Nick does.
Nick: 13:52
And if things happen, then they happen, but without expectations.
Amy: 13:54
yeah, Nick always has expectations.
Nick: 13:57
My expectations are to make your feet feel nice. That is my expectation. Plan a surprise date night. Oh, do the little things, the small acts, open the door for her, show her acts of love and kindness, let her know how you feel about your relationship, how you feel about her. It's the little things that become really big and meaningful. Like, really just like. Even the little things to show your spouse that you love them can mean more sometimes than the bigger things.
Amy: 14:30
For sure, for sure.
Nick: 14:31
You have anything to add on that treating your wife like a queen.
Amy: 14:35
I would say that this goes hand in hand with knowing her love language, because bringing her breakfast in bed might not be something that she likes.
Nick: 14:45
Yeah, true that.
Amy: 14:46
But it might be complimenting her more, or maybe opening the doors, or is she's a gift person surprising, or something Like. Treating your wife like a queen is gonna mean something different to every woman.
Nick: 14:59
And there are some women out there that say they just wanna be touched and make love.
Amy: 15:03
So for some women it might be like I thought you were joking, but that's actually true. No, that's what I'm saying.
Nick: 15:08
Yeah, that's true we actually have had a lot of women say I want my husband to make love to me but he won't.
Amy: 15:13
There's a lot of higher drive women than we thought that would do anything because they crave sexual intimacy and the husband's just kinda checked out.
Nick: 15:23
Yeah.
Amy: 15:23
So yeah.
Nick: 15:25
So I was saying that serious, like talk to your wife, figure out what you can do for them to make them feel like a queen, for sure, for sure. All right, the next one Listen and apologize for your mistakes. Luckily, I've never made a mistake in my life, so I don't know what this looks like. But what does listening and apologize for your mistakes mean to you? I mean, oh man, wow, where do I begin?
Amy: 15:57
Yeah, how would I know if you've never made a mistake? Sheesh, I think this one you know. I hope everyone knows we're joking by now. Like on a lot of these things right.
Nick: 16:08
Yeah, well, that's what I was saying. We really kind of figured out. We made so many mistakes I don't even know where to begin.
Amy: 16:13
No, I'm not talking about mistakes. I mean just like the podcast in general, like I hope, yeah. Anyways, nick jokes around a lot, so do I.
Nick: 16:20
Well, this has been a very serious podcast so far.
Amy: 16:23
Nick's like we're moving on from the rules. Oh no, I think on this one, listen and apologizing takes a lot of humility, because you can tell when your husband or your wife is actually sorry. You can tell by their actions, their words, their tone of voice. So for this one it really is actually meaning it. Actually meaning it and apologizing forgiveness, We'll see. Saying sorry means you're going to change, not just keep doing it. So if you're actually sorry for something in your marriage, that means you're done doing it, or at least you're trying really hard because you genuinely cared.
Nick: 17:05
And I think listening is listening to the feedback that your wife has, like when you apologize, you know. Listen to her how it made her feel, you know. Just just really allow her to share feedback with you on what you can do better as well. And obviously I know a lot of you are out there rolling your eyes and saying, well, what about the? What about when this is switched? Well, we're not talking about that in this podcast, right? This is, this is for the women. What?
Amy: 17:34
we're talking about this one's for the women.
Nick: 17:35
So relax, we'll probably have another one on reverse, so that these could be reversed. Yeah right. That's what I mean. Yeah, you can be reversed. The next one, ask her opinion. I think this is really important.
Amy: 17:50
And there's some men, there's some husbands that don't do this.
Nick: 17:53
Yeah.
Amy: 17:54
They've got that personality that's like I'm higher.
Nick: 17:56
I'm the decision maker, my wife and there's been times in our marriage where I've just done things and I haven't asked her opinion, and that's not right, I think, especially when it comes to bigger decisions, like, you know, financial decisions. You know things that are going to affect your life. Maybe it's getting into debt or a loan, or putting your kids in activities. I mean, there's a lot of things but I think it's so important to, rather than just do things, always ask her opinion, or ask her opinion about how she feels about certain things, maybe not just like doing things, but how she feels about certain things. Ask her opinion about how she feels about your relationship, about how she feels about you know just everything.
Amy: 18:42
Your wife is probably smarter than you think, and when it's when you're making any decision anyways, don't you want genuinely to have like a full circle of opinions before you make a big decision, like I like to get other people's aspects or opinions so that I can make the best decision possible. Right? I like feedback. And what? What thing I've learned about Amy?
Nick: 19:06
and I'm saying this seriously is, like this is a compliment. Is anything Amy decides to do, like it's always going to be a big decision, always successful, anything she does? I joke around that anything she does turns to gold, and I'm not saying that like that is one talent that she really, really has, and so I've learned that. I'm like, oh man, I'm asking her opinion because if she feels differently or her input's different than what I think, I'm really going to take that into consideration because, like, she has a good track record.
Amy: 19:41
Well, thanks, babe, but some husbands don't feel like that. There's a lot of husbands that have a really hard time having their wife up on that evenness scale when it comes to this kind of stuff. So just remember that when you committed to marriage, you committed to being equal partners in life. Yeah, so that means that she, she is very much a part of everything from now on in your life. Yeah, yeah.
Nick: 20:10
The next one is a really good one as well Listen, don't try to fix it. Sometimes we as husbands try to fix everything or talk about everything, Like sometimes we just need to shut up and listen. We need to listen to what she has instead of if we've, you know, heard our wife or we always try to get in there and just fix something, instead of sitting back listening.
Amy: 20:37
And you know Most of them are fixers and that's not a bad thing, that's not a bad thing, that's not a bad thing. But yeah, like that's a really big, big piece of emotional intimacy. Foundation is that communication and listening is the other half of communication. It is a major, major part.
Nick: 20:56
Yeah.
Amy: 20:57
So if your sexual intimacy and physical intimacy is struggling, we always talk about how the emotional intimacy has to be the strongest part first, and listening is part of that.
Nick: 21:11
The next one is support her dreams and goals. I think this is a really good one as well. I think a lot of times women especially put their dreams and the things, their interests and things on hold, especially when raising kids. And it doesn't happen very often to where we just assume that you know maybe they're they don't have any, or or you know, because we have kids and they're taking care of the kids, that those things are on hold. But I think it's really important to talk to your wife, ask her her dreams and goals and then ask how you can support her dreams and goals.
Amy: 21:48
I think that's a really good one, absolutely. And there's no reason that, even if she is being a mom full time, that she doesn't need some kind of out outlet. It's really important, not that she needs to have one, but if she wants one, it's so important for you to support that. I think it's really. We get a lot of comments from husbands that are like my wife should be able to do all the stuff because all she does is stay at home. It can be such an argument in a lot of marriages because the wife is feeling undervalued or is being undervalued. But it's hard to. I've done both. It's hard to just be at home and feel like nobody really appreciates you. It's hard. Even teenagers hardly appreciate you until they become parents, right. So feeling just taken care of people all the time, like it's really important for women to have even if it's not a career, a hobby time to get out, to be herself, to be who she, to have that not being a mom is the best thing in the world I'm not downplaying that at all but to have something that still makes her unique in her.
Nick: 23:00
Yeah, and I was gonna say your dreams and goals don't necessarily have to be like big things.
Amy: 23:05
Yeah, no, they could be small.
Nick: 23:06
They could be like I wanna get out and get away for a day, a week or an afternoon.
Amy: 23:14
Or if she wants to run a half marathon and she needs to go run an hour at night or and train a little bit, exactly exactly.
Nick: 23:20
Support what she wants to do, or she wants to go back to school.
Amy: 23:23
I've seen so many amazing women that can multi-test so well and still be going to school and raising an amazing family and still holding a household together, like women are amazing, so praise them for that and support them.
Nick: 23:36
Yep and number 10, appreciate what she does for you. And this may sound like just a simple thing, but you'd be amazing how many husbands, how many spouses, don't show appreciation. They get in a mode of just expecting things and like, oh well, I'm working and doing this, so I just expect that you're gonna do this, this, this and this. How freaking hard is it to show appreciation for what your wife does? Most husbands, if they spent a week doing what their wife does, they'd be suicidal. I mean, they absolutely couldn't handle it. And so your wife most likely does a heck of a lot more than you think. So be appreciative for what she does. When she cooks dinner, be appreciative, say thank you, offer to help clean up the house or the dishes, do things. And I think when it says, appreciate what she does for you, that's not only verbal in telling her how grateful you are, but that's also showing her in those ways. So that could be like saying hey, babe, let me take care of the dishes tonight, or let me take care of the kids tonight and put them to bed while you go relax for a few hours. Show your wife how much you appreciate the things that she does for you and the family.
Amy: 24:52
Yeah, amen, I love that one and it doesn't like you said in the other ones. It doesn't have to be much. It's literally the little tiny things that you do that build that emotional intimacy. It really is. It's little things like opening her door, telling her how beautiful she is, saying thank you, appreciating her, raising the kids or going to work, whatever. That is just saying thank you and wanting to connect, and putting your phone down and wanting to spend quality time and planning a date that's exciting for her and dressing up for her, Like I could go on and on and on. But it's the little things. They don't take that much effort.
Nick: 25:34
Yeah and I. So we got through the 10, but I would say number 11 is go buy your wife something special at shopultimateintimacycom.
Amy: 25:42
Go buy her a bedroom toy, or the wives are like I don't really want that. I'm telling you as a wife you want that, you want it. That changed our marriage.
Nick: 25:53
Yeah.
Amy: 25:54
He pulls that thing out and he's like I want to be intimate and I'm like I know it's going to be amazing, because nothing feels more amazing than you and that.
Nick: 26:01
Yeah, yeah, that's just. Was that too much? No, was that too TMI? No, I don't think so. I don't think so.
Amy: 26:07
That yeah.
Nick: 26:10
So, anyways, hopefully this list helps give you 10 ways to make your wife feel special and loved, and we will do one for the husbands here coming up. It might only be, there might only be one thing on the list, but we'll hey we'll battle through it.
Amy: 26:23
Hey, I know husbands they have a lot more than one thing. We'll make the list.
Nick: 26:27
All right, so until next time. We hope you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.