The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
Nick and Amy are the creators and owners of the Ultimate Intimacy App and brand. They dive into all the tough topics regarding sexual and emotional intimacy, and discuss the things that most couples deal with regularly in marriage, that are seldom talked about on other podcasts. They are raw, unscripted, personal, and Nick will most likely say things he will regret ;)
They have been married over 22 years and have 4 kids, 3 dogs, and share their own life experiences and trials that have helped them transform their own relationship. They are on a mission to help couples not just survive in marriage, but thrive in marriage.
Their podcast is focused on helping you find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Also, for a great resource to help transform your relationship, check out the Ultimate Intimacy App at ultimateintimacy.com
The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
245. 11 Clear Signs That You Are Madly In Love With Your Spouse
Have you ever wanted to know if you are truly madly in love with your spouse? What characteristics do couples that are madly in love have and how are they different than other spouses?
in this episode, we share the 11 (we added extra) clear signs that you are madly in love with your spouse! See what you think about the list we present in the episode and if you agree that you are "madly in love" with your spouse!
If you haven't already, go check out the Ultimate Intimacy App in the app stores, or at ultimateintimacy.com to find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your marriage. It's FREE to download and so much fun! Find out why over 700,000 couples have downloaded the app and give it such high ratings and reviews!
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You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you've been married, you can achieve passion, romance, happiness and ultimate intimacy at any stage of your life. Join us as we talk to not only marriage experts, but couples just like yourself and people who are just flat out fun. The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast is for couples who have a good relationship but want to make it even better 11 clear signs that you're madly in love with your spouse.
Speaker 2:Welcome to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast with Nick and Amy.
Speaker 3:Madly in love.
Speaker 2:Madly in love. What does madly in love mean to you? I want to hear your interpretation of madly in love. What does madly in love mean to you, and then we'll find out if we're madly in love.
Speaker 3:That's such a that's mean to put me on a spot like that.
Speaker 2:I'm totally putting her on the spot.
Speaker 3:Well, we did the episode about infactuation and it's definitely not that. I think that's a very short stage. I think when we think of madly in love, we think of that stage. I think we need to change the word to deeply in love. I think deep love is different. That sounds silly. I know you're all laughing. That sounds like the same thing, I don't know. When I think madly in love, I think of butterflies and when, I think of deeply in love.
Speaker 2:I think of like 22 years later, when you're like putting in a crapload of effort into your marriage and that's why I interpret madly in love to be it's like you have some history behind it. You have some proven successes, you have some longevity. There's been some crap you've been through that. You've been able to stay madly in love with each other.
Speaker 3:There's a lot of times in life that you're not madly in love with each other.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But madly in love doesn't mean like every night I come home and you're ripping my clothes off me.
Speaker 3:It doesn't mean like that you don't come home, you don't leave us.
Speaker 2:That's true, but I think it's something much deeper. So today we're going to go over the 11 signs that you're madly in love with your spouse, and I think these are great, these are really good ones, and as I read through them, I'm like, yeah, absolutely, that's a sign that I'm in love.
Speaker 3:I guess everybody can take this quiz.
Speaker 2:Yeah, you can see if you get all 11 or where you're at.
Speaker 3:If you get seven or eight out of 11, you're probably doing pretty good.
Speaker 2:You're doing pretty good exactly, so let's dive in Number one. You can't stop thinking about them. What are you laughing at? What was that reaction?
Speaker 3:That sounds like my daughter who's 16. That can't stop thinking about this boy.
Speaker 2:Okay, I don't think it's talking about like every waking hour and things like that, but throughout your day, like your spouse is on your mind. Yeah, your spouse is on your mind, whether it's like oh, my spouse is awesome, or I'm going to send them a text, or I'm going to call and see how they're doing, or whatever.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I like that, that's good.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be like they're always on your mind, like I want to rip their clothes off or whatever.
Speaker 3:So what they got in his mind.
Speaker 2:Oh my gosh, the same that's never happened.
Speaker 3:So okay, okay. So you can't stop thinking about them. Let's rephrase that a little bit you think about them often during the day. Let's change that.
Speaker 2:They're on your mind.
Speaker 3:They're on your mind, you can't stop thinking about them. I'm sorry. For most women it's like, yeah, I've been busy for eight hours. I'm sorry. I thought about you once. I still love you, I still thought about you. But if your spouse comes to your mind during the day and you're like I should send them a sweet text or something, or that was really nice that they did that for me last night.
Speaker 2:I think when you can't stop thinking about them, they're always on your mind. It could be like oh, I'm at the grocery store and I know my wife likes strawberries, so I'm going to pick her up some strawberries. And oh, I know she's busy with this today, so I'm going to do this to make her life easier. Like it's constantly like just you're thinking about them to the aspect of like what can I do to serve my spouse and make their life better, because I love them?
Speaker 3:That's the way I look at it. Okay. So yeah, I would change that one to you. You think about how to serve them throughout the day, Okay. Yeah, all right, making changes okay, making changes to Nick's list.
Speaker 2:Okay, and I've changed it All right. Second one their happiness means everything to you See, immense joy by seeing your spouse happy. Okay, yeah, I'm shaking. You can't see, you can't see me's reaction. So as I'm looking over, I'm like what is she? Make me this list, so I'm internalizing it right now, okay, you just do I not do things that show you that your happiness means everything to me, or vice versa. Yes, yeah, well you do think you do things for me that I feel like my happiness.
Speaker 3:Smile lights up your world.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, that might be a little cheesy, but yeah, you get the point.
Speaker 3:Your happiness.
Speaker 2:when your spouse's happiness is above your own and you really want to make them happy, you love seeing the smile on their face. That's a sign that you're madly in love.
Speaker 3:I think this one comes down to if we want to Okay, a lot of us have been married a long time, so we're giggling at this list. I think that one comes down to a happy spouse is a happy house, right? We always say that Both needs are important. In a marriage, both needs are important. So if you still care, no matter if you've been married 10 years, 20 years, 30 years, however long if your spouse's needs are still important to you because you like to see them happy, I would say that you're still madly in love.
Speaker 3:Yeah, okay, I like that, I'm just gonna deepen these a little bit because I gotta, I gotta get some like realness out of it.
Speaker 2:That's cool, alright. The next one you feel complete when you're together. What do you mean? I'm gonna ask you a deep question what does it mean to feel complete?
Speaker 3:I think that this means that you are happy with yourself. But when you're away for a long period of time or you're missing your spouse, you really do feel like you're missing your other half, like we hear that a lot in marriage, like she's the better half or he's my better half, or we hear that right.
Speaker 3:Like you're better, your, your other half or even just other half. But when you really truly believe like they're, they're part of me, they're, they're part of, like, they're literally my other half, and you feel more completed. When, when things are good, when the unity is good, when the marriage is good, you feel completed. I think I agree with that.
Speaker 2:I like that. I think that's perfectly said. I don't know that I need to add anything to it. Alright, you basically enjoy being with each other. You feel more comfortable being with each other.
Speaker 3:That's what you're doing, well, and I'm gonna add to this one when you feel complete when you're together. I think that that to me looks like best friends, and I think that there's stages in our marriage where we feel like best friends and I feel like there's stages where we absolutely don't. And that's okay, because marriage is never grand and perfect all the time, like there's always ups and downs. Some days you can't stand each other. Some days you're madly in love with each other. Some days you're just going with the flow, right that's marriage, yeah that's marriage.
Speaker 3:But when you can literally say, like my spouse is my best friend, that answers that one.
Speaker 2:You feel complete when you're together yeah, perfect, you are willing to compromise. I this is a huge one. I think if you truly or madly in love, you're willing to compromise, because we're circling back to what we said you want to make each other happy well, we just did the episode on.
Speaker 3:Would you rather be right or would you rather be happy? And we got to a point in our marriage where it was like we both decided we would rather be happy because we're both stubborn, stubborn people stubborn at all really really stubborn.
Speaker 3:I'm actually really stubborn, but what do we got to put in our marriage, where it was literally we're gonna choose to be happy and compromise and communicate, and and we don't win if only one of us is winning. We only win when we're both on the same page. That's what that looks like to me.
Speaker 2:I agree, yeah, and compromising. I mean we've talked about this before that could be in so many aspects, you know so many aspects, so many aspects, every aspect yeah, in and out of the bedroom. Yep, you respected and buyer them. You think about that? Um you admire their strengths. You know weaknesses, talents, the qualities, yada, yada, yada.
Speaker 3:I think this one's in hard marriage. I think we go through things where we lose respect for our spouse and then we have to gain it back. I think there's times where I admire our spouse and where we don't admire our spouse I because our spouses aren't perfect. There's times where they make mistakes, they do really dumb things. I've done really dumb things, I've done stupid things and it's hard to say that you respect or admire somebody during those points. But I think how do I say this? If you are staying together and committing and still putting their needs first, you are still showing respect and admiration to them. Just by even being committed through the hard times, even when you're feeling like the respect has gone down or their admiration has gone down. When you're like, fully committed to your marriage and your relationship and still care about their needs, I think you are absolutely showing that.
Speaker 2:Even if you weren't feeling that that's deep.
Speaker 3:I'm just I'm trying to. I don't want people like, if you're going through these and really rating these, like am I madly in love with my spouse? Does my spouse madly in love with me? Like I think it's important to be kind to yourself when you're rating them. Yeah, it's not 100% of the time it's overall.
Speaker 2:Right, Like do it's overall. Yeah, it's overall Like there are gonna be days that you suck at some of these things or you're pissed at your spouse or whatever.
Speaker 1:For sure.
Speaker 2:That's normal, but overall, is this how you feel about your relationship in general?
Speaker 3:Okay, thank you for clarifying Okay.
Speaker 2:I love the next one. You can be yourself around them. I think that's really a good one. Two point Well, what do you mean, Well?
Speaker 3:some couples are a little too comfortable around each other. Meaning I think, give an example. Some people watch each other go to the bathroom. That's I. To me is like yeah, no, that's a little too comfortable.
Speaker 2:Okay, does that make sense?
Speaker 3:Yeah, you can be your true self around them, like, let's still keep a balance where, like, you're not being disgusting and burping and doing stuff that like grosses out your spouse. I think still being your true self around them means that you have flaws, that you can be vulnerable and honest and still have a healthy balance around this one. I think this one's tricky.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I I think every couple is going to look differently, Like some couples are going to totally feel comfortable doing those types of things in front of each other and some couples are going to be feel a little more reserved and obviously that looks different based upon what you feel as a couple.
Speaker 3:I'm just saying for me, like my being my true self around you. Yeah, it's absolutely going to look different than someone else. For sure, if you can be, let's stick to just being honest, vulnerable and being able to share your thoughts and feelings, all those kinds of things. If you can do that with your spouse, you full on witness this question.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yep, exactly. Next one is you prioritize their needs, and I think that's different than putting their happiness first. But prioritizing their needs is, I mean, what? What does that look like to you?
Speaker 3:You prioritize their needs. Oh, we talk about this one on every single episode, so I don't know if I need to dive into this, but if you're cutting off sexual intimacy or there's a lot of rejection in your marriage or emotional rejection, you, you're just. You're smiling at me.
Speaker 2:I'd know, I'm just happy, I'm just yeah, I'm just happy.
Speaker 3:You're just happy, absolutely, you have something to say.
Speaker 2:I have something to say coming up, yeah.
Speaker 3:Coming up. Okay, I just lost my way to trying to thought you over, just smiling I think I've been talking about this all the time. Like both spouses needs are important. So if you, if you actually care about your spouse's needs, that's awesome. I think you passed that one. Yeah, that's good, what do you say?
Speaker 2:I agree 100%. I do. You said it perfectly.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:The next one. You share a deep emotional connection.
Speaker 3:How's your marriage?
Speaker 2:I think that's so true. I mean, I almost don't know how you can have a really good relationship if you don't have a deep and emotional connection, obviously, if you don't be able to have good conversations and talking about things and enjoy being together and understanding each other at a deeper level and just being very vulnerable with each other, you know.
Speaker 3:That one kind of comes back to the same thing as like best friends. I think you have to have a deep emotional connection to feel like your best friends.
Speaker 2:Yeah, for sure, the next one. You're in sync, and I'm not talking about your favorite boy band.
Speaker 3:That's why you're giggling. I'm like it's been over giggling and I'm like what is wrong?
Speaker 2:with you Amy's favorite boy band in sync.
Speaker 3:It is.
Speaker 2:I don't know, is it?
Speaker 3:I don't know, I don't play that stuff in your the car when you're in there.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah exactly when I get into Amy's car, it's got.
Speaker 3:He's like turn it off. I want my car to go on.
Speaker 2:So Amy will agree that you're in sync, whether it's with the boy band or you're in sync as a couple. What does that mean to you to be in sync? Gosh, I feel like Share an example from the band.
Speaker 3:Did you come up with this list, because I feel like they're all the same, oh they aren't.
Speaker 2:What are you talking about?
Speaker 3:Well, deep emotional connection and best friends to me means you're in sync. Okay, so it doesn't really mean like finishing each other sandwiches. I was thinking of frozen, finish each other sandwiches, sentences, or knowing exactly what the other person needs without having to say it word. It doesn't mean that, right.
Speaker 2:No, in sync is just like. You're on the same page and you got the same goals and you know what each other's needs are and you're, just like you know, both headed in a real good direction together.
Speaker 3:I like that Goals, that one's gonna be goals.
Speaker 2:You're in sync with your goals. In sync with your goals. Okay, let's see Next one. You can't imagine your life without them.
Speaker 3:I hope that there's not one. What?
Speaker 2:No, you can't imagine your life without them.
Speaker 3:I hope I was gonna say I hope not. I hope that everyone passed this question. If you could imagine your life without your spouse, what are you doing? Even trying to imagine your life without your spouse?
Speaker 2:Yeah, you're probably not madly or deeply in love if you. If you're like I, can imagine a life without them, my life without my spouse.
Speaker 3:That's awful. That was an awful one. Let's change that one, Since this is a live list and I'm editing it.
Speaker 2:Yeah nothing, she's got nothing, she got stage fright.
Speaker 3:You can't imagine them not being your best friend.
Speaker 2:Yeah, okay, it's good, oh, amy's. Next one is Amy's favorite.
Speaker 3:You share a deep sexual connection. Why is that my favorite?
Speaker 2:I don't know. I just thought it would be. I'm in sync with you. I know what you're thinking at all times.
Speaker 3:Yeah, why don't you take that one? So that's your favorite one.
Speaker 2:Oh yeah, you share a deep sexual connection where sexual intimacy is a priority. You know you are serving each other. You're carrying for your spouse's happiness. Yeah, mutual satisfaction, I mean. Yeah, it's good.
Speaker 3:Some of the women are just like oh, that one has to be on the list. I know.
Speaker 2:But let's face it, like, how do you have a good relationship if you're not connecting sexually? I can promise you out there there's not a high desire spouse on the planet that is going to say we have a. You know, we have a deep, incredible relationship. That's amazing, and yada, yada yada if the sexual intimacy isn't there.
Speaker 3:Maybe I'm wrong. I think that we need to. This one says you both prioritize and connect intimately as a couple. So let's it's not saying that, like if you're the low-drive spouse like me, like, oh, it's like at the top of my list. I'm so good at this. If you're, if you're just prioritizing and still making it a big part of your marriage, even if you're a low-drive, you get a pass on this one.
Speaker 2:Prioritizing.
Speaker 3:You're prioritizing.
Speaker 2:Exactly. That's all I'm trying to say, that's all we're trying to say. Yep.
Speaker 3:Okay.
Speaker 2:So anything else.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I'm gonna add some. Adds let's hear it your supportive of your spouse.
Speaker 2:Yeah, agreed, you support them in your dreams and goals.
Speaker 3:Like their career, your their hobbies, the stupid stuff they want to try out. That you're like really Okay.
Speaker 2:I love you.
Speaker 3:I think you're crazy, but I will support you because I love you, I will support you because I love you, even though that's a crazy idea, but I'm not gonna say that. Just you're encouraging, I think. This one, I'm gonna change it to your, your spouse's biggest cheerleader, do you think?
Speaker 2:I like it yeah.
Speaker 3:All right, we said it was going to be 11, but I'm adding more to this quiz.
Speaker 2:Is this the quiz. You can add as many as you want.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to add trust and security into this quiz, I think that's a good one If you are madly in love with your spouse and just with your marriage in general, I think that you feel and you give trust and security from each other. I think that's true I think that comes down to, in your relationship, that your spouse has your back, that they're going to be accepting up your feelings, they're validating, they're faithful 100%, even emotionally. Just, I feel that trust and security really needs to be on that list.
Speaker 2:I think that's a great one, ed, and you had another one which is really good.
Speaker 3:Okay, I'm going to, and maybe I should end it here. How many did that make our little quiz?
Speaker 2:notes I'll 13 or so.
Speaker 3:The next one needs to be you show appreciation and gratitude to your spouse and you feel appreciated and gratitude back.
Speaker 2:I think that's a huge one. I really do. I don't. I think we really underestimate the importance of like being grateful and expressing gratitude to your spouse. Imagine, like, if I never said thank you so much, sweetie, I really appreciate that. Or thank you for all you do, that would be tough. You'd be like I don't do they really love me? I don't know.
Speaker 3:And I don't think it matters if your words of affirmation love language or not. I think every couple needs to hear that they're appreciated for every spouse, or shown they're appreciated. Or shown that they're appreciated in some way Because, like you said, like we do so much, no matter what that looks like in your marriage, you're still doing a ton. And just to do it, and do it on a daily basis, over and over and over, and never get any kind of thank you appreciation, I'm like that's gonna. That hurts. Yeah, it really does.
Speaker 2:Really does. So there's our list the additional clear signs that you're madly in love with your spouse. So hopefully you did pretty well, which I think most of our audience probably did.
Speaker 3:And if you have like three or four that you're like those are lacking a little bit, we're not going to get into how to fix those, because most of these I think all of these we've already talked about in previous episodes, right. Yeah, I feel like we don't dive deep into these, so go back, listen to those episodes.
Speaker 2:And, like we always say, reach out to us, let us know what you think if there's topics you want us to cover which we'll either have an expert on or try to cover ourselves. We typically try to share experiences and things that you know we've experienced or gone through, of course. But yeah, let us know what you think and we really hope you enjoy the podcast.
Speaker 3:And we. I hope that you will stay tuned and keep listening, because we're going to have pretty big awesome news in the next couple of months.
Speaker 2:Are you pregnant?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Oh, is it something I know?
Speaker 3:That would be bad news. Oh something we're working on together.
Speaker 2:Okay, that's true, yeah, a couple things.
Speaker 3:So we're excited to announce it, but we can't announce it quite yet.
Speaker 2:I didn't know if there was some other big news, because usually when you say there's big news, that means one thing. So no, not who thank you for letting me know. I just feel more relieved. So until the next time, we hope all of you find ultimate intimacy in your relationship.