The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
Nick and Amy are the creators and owners of the Ultimate Intimacy App and brand. They dive into all the tough topics regarding sexual and emotional intimacy, and discuss the things that most couples deal with regularly in marriage, that are seldom talked about on other podcasts. They are raw, unscripted, personal, and Nick will most likely say things he will regret ;)
They have been married over 22 years and have 4 kids, 3 dogs, and share their own life experiences and trials that have helped them transform their own relationship. They are on a mission to help couples not just survive in marriage, but thrive in marriage.
Their podcast is focused on helping you find "Ultimate Intimacy" in your relationship both in and out of the bedroom. Also, for a great resource to help transform your relationship, check out the Ultimate Intimacy App at ultimateintimacy.com
The Ultimate Intimacy Podcast
309. Incorporating The 5 Senses Into Your Love Making For AMAZING Foreplay And Intimacy
Think about how powerful our five senses are. What we see, feel, hear, smell, and taste makes life so gratifying and amazing! Take away any one of those, and life becomes a completely different experience.
So how many of us shut down our senses when it comes to foreplay and lovemaking? Many of us turn the lights off, removing our sense of sight. We try to be quiet instead of verbally expressing how much we’re enjoying each other through words and sounds, limiting our hearing. Some of us don't touch each other enough, kiss enough, or incorporate smell or taste into our lovemaking. Instead of using our senses to enhance and make our sexual intimacy more enjoyable, we often turn them off, leading to less sexual fulfillment.
In this episode, we discuss the importance of incorporating the five senses into your foreplay and lovemaking, and introduce our new SENSES foreplay card deck and intimacy box so you can make your intimate life even more fulfilling!
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You are listening to the Ultimate Intimacy Podcast, where we discuss how to find ultimate intimacy in your relationship. We believe that, no matter how many years you have been married, you can find passion, happiness and romance at any stage of your life. Join us as we have discussions in all areas of intimacy, interview marriage professionals and people who are just flat-out fun. Our podcast is for all couples looking to transform their relationship.
Speaker 2:Today we're talking about foreplay and, don't worry, we won't get too deep or detailed. We just released a new product our Senses box, and our Senses foreplay bigger box with a lot of stuff in it, and we're excited to spend a few minutes talking about that today and why the five senses are so important to incorporate into your foreplay and your lovemaking we're really just gonna have a podcast episode on foreplay.
Speaker 1:That's really what this is all about, because so many husbands I think husbands like foreplay right yeah, but it's usually the wife.
Speaker 2:A lot of times it's the wife that's like let's just get this done with or or it takes so long to have foreplay why do you think that so many wives hate the fact oh, you wouldn't know, you're a man?
Speaker 1:I'm asking myself, why do so many wives hate foreplay, taking a while, like I don't I? I mean, I guess I understand it at certain times and don't understand it at certain times, like it's. I guess I'm asking myself that too, because there are nights where I'm like oh, I don't want it to be an hour, I'm tired, or whatever if I was a woman, um I would, I would be able to answer, but I'm not I thought you were actually going to give an answer.
Speaker 2:No, no, I don't have an answer. I don't know answers, but some men, as a man, what yeah?
Speaker 1:but some men complain that foreplay takes too long I love long foreplay.
Speaker 2:I'm I'm in the. In our relationship. I'm probably the person that wants to have more foreplay probably and after sometimes amy's like, oh, let's just skip to the main course.
Speaker 1:I know no appetizer I I know that sometimes majority of men would like are good with long foreplay, even if, like most husbands, good husbands want their wife to enjoy it and they're like, yeah, take as long as you need well, I think a lot.
Speaker 2:Okay, I'm gonna answer the question. I think a lot of couples don't have a lot of foreplay because maybe we aren't doing foreplay the right way what do you mean? Well. So we have our senses right, we have our sight, hearing, smell, taste. We. How often are we incorporating those like into our connection and love making? Right, right, like usually the the lights are dark, you can't see each other, so that takes out your sight um okay, hold on, hold on.
Speaker 1:I just from a woman's perspective like when you're staring in my eyes and the lights are on and you're staring at my body, and not that I'm like against that or self-conscious. Some people, many are, many are, but I get distracted, okay.
Speaker 2:Or you're hearing Like usually a lot of people are dead silent when they're making love. They like feel like oh, if I make a sound, it's going to sound embarrassing, right yeah. Okay, so their lights are out. It's embarrassing. Embarrassing right like okay, so their lights are out. It's dead dark. You're not seeing, you're not hearing. Um, a lot of people say they don't kiss or anything when making love, so you're not really like using the I hope you're kissing paste or yeah um touch.
Speaker 2:Obviously your bodies are together, but are you, are you like touching each other? Are you caressing each other? Are you feeling each other all over right? Like how, how much touch are you like touching each other? Are you caressing each other? Are you filling each other all over Right? Like, how, how much touch are you actually doing? Or is it? Are you just laying on top of each other?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:And you know the smell. I you know I don't maybe you have perfume or a scented candle or things like that. The point I'm trying to make is we have our five senses and I would say, for a lot of us, we we have our five senses and I would say, for a lot of us, we don't fully incorporate those into our lovemaking. And if we did, our lovemaking could be a lot more meaningful and powerful and sensual and something that, like, we really desire and remember.
Speaker 1:And you know, maybe it's yeah, it'd be more anticipated, hopefully, if you're really enjoying it in different ways. But I think if we're speaking to the majority of couples that, like that, you've been married sometime. If you have kids, you know you've probably gotten into routine. You're like this is more for you, you're the higher drive, let's just do this. Uh, and a lot of women are like, yeah, I'm here to enjoy it with you, but let's not take all night. Do you know what I mean? Like we just fall into that routine, but like a lot of surveys and um studies that have been done has actually shown that women actually get bored with things more in life than men do men are actually more okay with routine than women.
Speaker 1:Women get bored. That's probably why we're like constantly want to decorate our house constantly into the holidays constantly A thousand percent. Constantly changing our fashion and our clothes where men are just like whatever Right. For the most part, I'm not talking to everyone, but for the most part women get bored, and this. This happens in the bedroom too.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, you were the one that came to me and said I need something new, I need to switch things up, and I'm like oh, okay.
Speaker 1:Well, I thought I was kind of broken. I didn't realize we were missing some emotional connection during those years and that's why I kind of thought that, like what's happening to me I've always had a high drive and now it's dying and I had just had kids and stuff that if women could learn to enjoy sexual intimacy more, to enjoy foreplay more more than that you're swiping your phone at night in your tiktok, right, like that dopamine that you're getting from social media and movies and all the other crap, like if we could learn to get that dopamine hit and really enjoy each other in this way more, their marriages would just be awesome well, and so get, I agree, 100.
Speaker 2:And getting back to it, we don't incorporate the senses into our lovemaking as much, and I think anytime we try something new or something different, sometimes it can be a little bit uncomfortable, right?
Speaker 2:right like if I were to say, hey, let's make love with the lights on and like, look at each other. At first it might be a little bit uncomfortable, right? Right, like if I were to say, hey, let's make love with the lights on and like, look at each other. At first it might be really awkward and uncomfortable, but obviously, visually, that that can bring a whole new sense into our lovemaking, right? Like to to look at each other and see each other visually, or, um, you know, like I said, visually, or um, you know, like I said, you know, making sounds.
Speaker 2:Making sounds could be really awkward at first, but hearing your spouse make certain sounds can help you understand. Like, what, what are they enjoying or not enjoying? Or I mean, and oh, she's really finding pleasure in this. I can, I can tell because of the way she's sounding and things like that. So I mean, I think sometimes we've got to just jump out of our comfort zones. And I will be the first to say, like when Amy and I kind of jumped out of our comfort zone, whether it was trying a bedroom toy or trying different things in the bedroom, or having the bedroom game, things like that, like every single time we've got out of our comfort comfort zone and tried something.
Speaker 1:Um, it's been a positive to our love making yeah, we're there like oh, we both loved that, let's add that in. Or oh, that was horrible. We're both out on that right like yeah, like a good example is even the toy like.
Speaker 2:I was very against toys because of reasons that I've already shared. You know I'm like oh, is she gonna like this more than me? But for us that's one thing that's just been a huge game changer is like oh, how can that be a bad thing If, like Amy's, enjoying sexual intimacy the whole time versus for two or three seconds, right?
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Okay so. So we were just thinking about this a lot at the beginning of the year. Just how do we I mean, our goal really is like how do we both people, both husband and wife learn to want to make it last longer instead of trying to rush it? Because we hear from a lot of couples that are just like I love the toy, yeah, it helps me get aroused faster and I enjoy it more and there's tons of benefits with it. I still 100% yes, yes, yes, yeah, it helps me get aroused faster and I enjoy it more and there's tons of benefits with it. I still 100 yes, yes, yes.
Speaker 1:But we don't always want it to go faster, right, like if we really love each other and we really are trying to be intimate and really prioritize that in our marriage and in our life, it shouldn't be rushed, it shouldn't be rushed. So at the't be rushed. So at the beginning of the year, we're like how, what can we come up with to really help couples, not just sexual, sexual foreplay, but emotional foreplay? Like, how do you build that trust? How do you build that connection that's so deep that you get done? And you're like that was literally connecting in lots of different ways, and so, anyways, we've been working on this project for a long time, but we just wanted to share some um, we call it the sense play foreplay card deck because it's really just to make your foreplay funner. It's it just. It helps you with tons of ideas to incorporate the five senses into the bedroom, just so you can enjoy each other longer and better, right yeah, and we just released these in our shop at shopultimateintimacycom so we're gonna jump in.
Speaker 1:We're actually gonna share some examples with you to get you excited, um, in case you are wanting to make your foreplay better. So let's start with taste. Let's start with taste. I'm gonna read some because I just yeah well, they're good, so and I think taste.
Speaker 2:I could be wrong, but I think amy got way more excited about the taste thing than I did. So I wonder, yeah, like I wonder if, like, um, senses are kind of like the love languages, where each spouse kind of has different senses that are going to get a heightened or aroused versus maybe maybe like for men, most of us are very visual, right. So like making love with the lights on and being able to see our beautiful spouse and things like that might be more powerful for a husband.
Speaker 2:That's true, Whereas a wife it might be more of like touch right, like you know, pulling out a feather and tickling and kissing on the neck or different things like that right.
Speaker 1:Oh, I totally agree with that, absolutely. So, okay, we'll call it the five senses, love languages, then, um, if you are taste, or if your spouse loves taste. So the card deck comes with 65 cards, um, incorporating all the five senses. But I'll just read a few examples of taste. So, uh, the first one's the act, what would I call it? Action, the prompt, the prompt, flavored kiss. Apply favored lubricant to your lips and kiss your spouse, savoring the taste as it enhances the experience. Kiss passionately for full two minutes, letting the flavor intimacy deepen your connection. So that was just the beginning.
Speaker 2:Start kissing, flavored um and it gets a lot more graphic graphic or intense intense and graphic. We're gonna keep this pg on the oh, yes, yes, we will um taste what I'm saying is the cards get a lot more detailed with yeah, uh, taste.
Speaker 1:Use flavored lube or a chocolate body pen to apply designs to your spouse's toes. If they prefer not to use their feet, you can apply the designs to their fingers instead, blindfold them and, with each playful touch, lick each toe or finger clean. This kit comes with a body pin chocolate chocolate body pin, and it tastes so good and you don't have to use fingers and toes.
Speaker 2:You could use other parts yeah, absolutely like it's it's totally customizable there's different challenges.
Speaker 1:Um, going along with the chocolate seduction using the chocolate body paint pen from the shop or a melted chocolate that you have at home, let your spouse choose where they'd like you to apply it. Gently paint their chosen area, then use your lips or tongue to savor and lick the chocolate off and then knowing how much amy loves chocolate oh baby, oh baby, let's just leave it there, she's already turning bright, bright red.
Speaker 2:As we're talking about this, it's already blushing all right, we're moving on from taste.
Speaker 1:That's just a little taste of what you're gonna get with the taste taste, I that. Taste of the taste cards. Sound Whispered secrets. Whisper what you want to do to your spouse in your spouse's ear, while lightly touching their skin.
Speaker 2:No-transcript affectionate patterns on their body okay, so how many spouses have literally done that to each other before?
Speaker 1:probably probably very few right yeah.
Speaker 2:So these are, I mean, these are introducing new things that are I mean I. You read that I'm like, yeah, I'd love to have amy whisper something in my ear, or I would love to whisper some things into her ear.
Speaker 1:I'm sure you would like. You've never done that before. Oh, uh, the next one. Play your spouse's. Okay, this is called song serenade. Play your spouse's favorite song and slowly dance together naked. Allow the music to guide your movements and closeness of your bodies. Blah, blah, blah.
Speaker 2:I'm just gonna let who would not want to do that?
Speaker 1:oh, it just gets better as it goes um sign me up compliment circle. Take turns whispering heartfelt compliments to each other, focusing on different body parts. As you compliment each area, gently touch it for 30 seconds. This combination of affectionate words and tender touches will create an intimate experience that keeps going. I'm not going to read anymore because I don't want to give them away.
Speaker 2:Yeah, those are good ones. It's getting hot in here.
Speaker 1:It's getting hot in here sight. Like nick said, if you're a visual person, most men are visual.
Speaker 2:Yes, say most men yeah I think women are visual.
Speaker 1:Yeah, mostly depends on the body part depends on the body part. Depends on the body part.
Speaker 2:That is accurate, Amy's like. No one wants to see that Nobody wants to see that.
Speaker 1:That's not true. That's not true. We want to see it. We want to see it in the dark.
Speaker 1:You want to see it in the dark Sight Sensory spotlight with a soft light from a candle or camera flashlight. Lie on your back. Take turns using a candle or camera flashlight. Lie on your back. Take turns using a bedroom heater toy. If you have one, gently drag it across each other's bodies. Uh yeah, I'll stop reading that one for now. The next one's. Take it in light a scented candle. Set a cozy mood, dance with your spouse letting the warm, flickering light. It goes on and on. So and think about it too.
Speaker 2:You know, we we talk about how successful and amazing the vibrating ring's been, but that's also a touch thing right, like we're introducing something that vibrates, that feels different and right, maybe that's why it it feels so good.
Speaker 1:But right, that's obviously incorporating, uh, five cents here's an idea that maybe you haven't done perform strip tease. Sight. Perform a slow, sensual strip tease in the soft glow of the scented candle, focusing on eye contact throughout. Um, yeah, I'm just gonna stop there. I'm not gonna give you the whole card, I'm not gonna read the whole card. Okay, smell. I don't think we realize how smells really good smells can like change the experience.
Speaker 1:That's so true, it's really true. It's really true. If you have already been a customer of our shop and have bought the lubricant, massage cream that smells either it's what? Pineapple, orange or lime coconut. Is that right?
Speaker 2:Coconut lime yeah.
Speaker 1:Oh my gosh, it changes everything so so good it smells so good. So the first smell card I'm going to read apply a favorite scented lotion or oil to your spouse's neck and shoulders after they inhale the calming aroma.
Speaker 2:Gently massage the scent into their skin with tender strokes so the awesome thing I can't share the whole cards the awesome thing about the SensePlay box is we give you all these things in the box. We cover the senses. We have a feather, we have the intimate massage cream that's scented, we have the chocolate body paint pen. We have the SensePlay cards, we have the mints. It's a legit blindfold.
Speaker 1:It goes with these cards you get the card deck and then you get the stuff that's on the cards that you need to play this game or this idea, it's legit. Yep, oh, and a blindfold. This one says blindfold your spouse to heighten their senses, let them inhale their favorite scent while you give them a soothing hand massage. Focus the gentle touch on the hand. Blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm not going to read the whole card, I'm going to leave you wandering.
Speaker 1:This one oh, it also comes with the box comes with shower steamers. This one is use the aromatherapy shower steamers or a scented body wash together and enjoy the relaxing scent as you embrace a steamy kiss in the shower, gently under the water. I'm not going to read the rest of the card because I don't want you to turn the podcast off.
Speaker 2:You know, you know what I'm saying you gotta make it through this podcast. You know what?
Speaker 1:I'm saying, oh, touch, we're gonna end on touch because touch is touch. There's lots of touch going on lots of touching lots of touching.
Speaker 1:Um, blind bliss. Both of you put on blindfolds. Take turns. Well, you would take turns with the blindfolds. Take turns using chocolate, body syrup or the paint pen to create designs on each other's skin. Once you're done, lick off the chocolate without removing the blindfold. Next one Turn me over. Have your spouse lie on their back and slowly kiss them from their neck down to their legs, savoring every inch. For added intensity, use a certain product You're just going to have to read your own card. And last one is feather tease. Ask your spouse what are the three places you like to be touched the most Lightly. Run the feather over your spouse's body for three minutes, focusing on their favorite spots. Okay, I'm just going to read a couple. Um, okay, I'm just gonna read a couple. These are not the like actual cards, but these are like the, the heading of each card sensory spotlight which whispered desire, the edge, intimate discovery, reflection, minty kisses, tongue letters, aromatherapy, bliss, temperature, tease, art, challenge, body artistry, feather, gaze, breath, play, steamy romance, warm touch, sound, bath.
Speaker 2:Light it up, yeah you get what I'm saying. You get what I'm saying. That's some good stuff 65 ideas.
Speaker 1:So, anyways, hopefully you'll love. For everyone who's already grabbed this awesome collection, hopefully you're loving it Really like we put a lot of heart and thought into this and we stand behind all of our products.
Speaker 2:We also offer free shipping, so anywhere in the US. So we could be that as well and, like I said, we ship really quickly. So if you're bored in the bedroom.
Speaker 1:If you're bored in the bedroom, there are solutions to that. There are solutions to that. If you're addicted to swiping TikTok or Instagram at night, get a new hobby.
Speaker 2:The new hobby is the five cents play. Yeah, and I think obviously this is for both spouses, but I think a wife would probably. This would probably be something a wife would even enjoy a little bit more. I'm not saying a husband wouldn't enjoy this.
Speaker 1:I was like what?
Speaker 2:No, I'm saying both spouses are going to enjoy it, but I think this just again, this is something I think would uh husband would love to buy for his wife.
Speaker 1:of course I as a husband would love to get it as well I don't know if a wife is like this is my way of initiating. We're playing a new freaking four play game tonight in the bedroom. He's going to be like oh, I'm the happiest guy alive true that speaking facts it goes either ways. Anyways, if you just feel like you need something new and you just don't feel like your sex is as intimate and connected as you really want it to be maybe it's feeling rushed a little bit, or just like an obligation.
Speaker 1:Or obligation or chore feeling. You're just not having fun with it. That is literally why we have the products we have is because we truly, truly stand behind. Marriage Shouldn't be mediocre. It should be passionate, it should be anticipated, it should be fun, it should be sparky and fun.
Speaker 2:Well, and again, your five senses are the most powerful things that you have right For sure. So incorporating these five senses can be just an extremely powerful way to really increase the intimacy in your sexual intimacy and bring you a lot closer together as a couple. So also, if you have any questions, reach out to us, email us, amy, at ultimate intimacy dot com. We'll answer those and shop dot ultimate intimacy dot com. You can find the card deck or the box which comes with everything, and we hope you enjoy the new product.